Monthly Archives: December 2013

God Bless the Evil Men

A short rant which has been building for a few days:

Anyone who has suffered through a good ole’ Biblical upbringing has been inundated with stories about the great God Fearing Patriarchs of the Old Testament.  “Great” men such as Noah, Abraham, Lot and so on are held up as examples of good pious men who worshiped their lord.  But, when you actually read the Bible, you have to ask yourself:  “Who in the Hell are these preachers and Sunday school teachers talking about?”  The men I’ve read about are as bad, if not worse, than many of those people we often hear referred to as evil, scum, or just plain horrible.

If I were to get on the television and talk about how ‘John Doe’ had condemned his grandson to be the slave of the boy’s uncles because of something the boy’s father did, and his uncles took advantage of the offer, the child would be taken into protective custody and the men involved would be imprisoned.  But, what if I told you that John Doe was actually Noah of Noah’s Ark fame. (Genesis 9:21-27)  Would it all be Ok then? For believers the answer is : Yes.

What if I told you that ‘John Doe’ had married his half-sister and had a son with her, and pimped her out twice; had sex with the maid, got her pregnant, told his wife to beat her, and then threw her and her child out into the desert; extorted money from political figures in a protection racket, mutilated all of his servants, tried to kill his son, actively promoted slavery and the beating of slaves, and had his son marry his brother’s granddaughter.  People would be screaming for this man’s head on a pike, unless of course the man’s real name was Abraham–which it is. (Genesis 9-24)

Then we have Lot, whose sister married his uncle, Abraham’s brother.  Lot, we’re told, was such a righteous and pious man that God spared him from a fiery holocaust which killed an untold number of children and infants.  The same Lot who after losing his wife, got drunk and impregnated his two virginal daughters. (Genesis 19:30-38)

And, this is just the first few chapters of the first book of the Bible.  I haven’t even scratched the surface.  Consider David who gets a man killed so he can have his wife, among many other godly actions. Or, Sampson who killed a temple full of people because they didn’t like his god.

Then we have the master of chaos, the God-Father.  This guy lies to his kids, then throws them out of their home when they find out he was lying.   He routinely kills, or hurts children when he gets mad, in fact one of his favorite past times is genocide.  He manipulates people to do things he doesn’t like then, kills, or tortures them for it.  He tortures a man who truly respects him to prove a point.  Allows his followers to be slaves for hundreds of years at a time.  Let’s his admirers be raped, tortured, killed and ridiculed to teach them lessons.  Has his son killed.  Destroys an entire planet.  And then expects everyone to believes that he is so wonderful and loving.  Then there’s the issue that there isn’t one single piece of verifiable evidence that the guy even exists, yet mountains of evidence that his Holy Book is a collection of contradictory, plagiarized, mistake riddled Bronze and Iron Age fairy tales.

If I were to tell someone who had never heard of this god about him they wouldn’t believe for a second that people were stupid enough to still believe in him, much less worship him.  Nor, would that person believe that the men above were held up as role models for young children.

But, unfortunately, that person would be wrong on both accounts.   Praise be to God.

 

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All Children Love Fairy Tales

Many years ago there was a peaceful village on the edge of a great forest, that was plagued by a terrible creature.  This beast would sneak into the village at night and randomly pick a person sleeping quietly, and take this person off into the forest where he would kill the person then drink his or her blood.

The village’s eldest hunter and trapper devised a plan to rid his people of the beast by digging a large pit trap.  The village teamed up to dig and hide the trap then they waited.  After a few nights the village was awakened by a terrible roar, and discovered that they had caught the beast.  Everyone in the village then gathered all the dry wood they could find and threw it into the pit with the beast and then set flame to it.

The fire grew so great that it could be seen from the horizon, and soon many thousands of embers began to float up from the fire and scatter to the winds.  The villagers felt good about what they had done until they discovered that each of the embers had transformed into tiny versions of the blood hungry beast.

And, this is how mosquitoes were created.

The story above is an old Native American story that I read somewhere many years ago, and have paraphrased.  It was one of my children’s favorite campfire stories when they were little, and they still ask for the “mosquito story” whenever we are near a campfire.  They never actually believed it was true.  Who would these days.

Here is another paraphrased story from about 4,000 years ago in Sumeria:

After returning home from yet another failed quest to find immortality our hero Gilgamesh is told about a plant growing in a wonderful garden whose leaves, when prepared properly, can provide an elixir that will restore one’s youth, thereby making them immortal.

Gilgamesh goes in search of this plant and eventually finds the last one.  However, while on his return trip Gilgamesh spies an inviting pool and stops to bathe in it.  He leaves the plant on top of his clothes on the bank of the pool, and when he isn’t looking a serpent sneaks up and swallows the plant.  The serpent then sheds his old skin and reveals a young smooth skin, thereby stealing the immortality of renewable youth for himself.

This is why snakes shed their skin and are continually reborn, while man must grow old and die.

So, who could believe such fairy tales about why things are as they are?  Well, primitive people exhibiting those wonderfully human traits of wonder, and desire to know, which eventually led us to all of our wonderous scientific discoveries and knowledge used their imagination and what knowledge they had at the time to develop these stories, and many others, as a way to explain the universe around them. As time went on and the reality of where mosquitoes come from, and why snakes shed their skin were learned such stories fell into the realm of children’s stories and fairy tales…for the most part.

Gilgamesh

Gilgamesh

The Epic of Gilgamesh, from which the story above is drawn, is a collection of stories about a legendary Sumerian king from the third millenia BC and are the oldest known works of literature.  These stories, which are based on older stories, were written at least 1,500 years before the early texts which would become the Bible, and were quite well-known throughout Mesopotamia.

There are many correlations between the stories of Gilgamesh and the later biblical stories such as: the creation of sky and earth from one being (Genesis 1); a man created from clay who is tempted by a woman, accepts food from her, covers his nakedness, and then is forced to leave and never return to his place of residence (Genesis 2-3);  the loss of immortality due to a serpent (Genesis 3); a great flood which kills everyone except for a select few (Genesis 6-8), at the end of which there is a sweet-smelling burnt offering which pleases the gods (Genesis 8); and many more.

When these stories, whether in their original Sumerian version, or later plagiarized Israelite versions, are read today by any modern, educated, adult, that person would clearly see that they are fairy tales from ancient times, used by men ignorant of modern scientific discoveries as a way to explain the World around them and add legitimacy to their chosen god or gods.

We all know that only children believe fairy tales…Right?

(note:  This post was edited after publishing for grammar and continuity on 12-07-2013)