Category Archives: How to Read the Bible

God the Confused Creator: Part II

Hello again Brothers and Sisters.

Now that you have had a chance to pray and realize that part 1 of this lesson was true and accurate, I will continue.

You may have noticed in part 1 of this lesson, my use of plural pronouns when summarizing God’s creation of man in chapter 1.  This is simply due to God’s use of similar pronouns when dictating the story to Moses:

26 And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.

27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. (Genesis 1:26-27)

As shown by the following passage from Genesis 3, this use of plural pronouns is not an anomaly:

22 And the Lord God said, Behold, the man is become as one of us, to know good and evil: and now, lest he put forth his hand, and take also of the tree of life, and eat, and live for ever:

Your having missed this detail is quite understandable, considering that most people who claim to have read the Bible, haven’t actually done so, and many of those who have, did so through a lens distorted by prior beliefs.  Most people read their beliefs into the Bible instead of deriving their beliefs from a careful reading of the Bible, because of their having been taught what their beliefs were, before being able to read.  This is OK, but only if the beliefs you are reading into, or drawing from it agree 100% with what I say. To do otherwise is to show that Satan has clouded your mind and set you on a path to Hell.

Once you are reading things correctly, these passages clearly show the plurality of God. Some of you might say that this is a reference to Jesus, and I concur, others might say that it is an obvious reference to other gods, they are sinners. What most people don’t, or won’t, notice is that such a reference clearly points to the Jesus part of God as being female.  This is made most apparent when they make ‘man‘ in their image and likeness as ‘male and female.’ They are clearly talking about “man” as ‘mankind’ in this passage, because they refer to “the” man in chapter 3 as a way to differentiate between male and female.

735px-Venus_and_Adonis_-_TitianWhen you quit hyperventilating you might say something along the lines of ‘Jesus presents himself as the son of God, not the daughter or wife of God.’ Once again you would be right, but you are also denying God’s true power and wisdom. Obviously, the female half of God had to present herself as a man when she came to Earth. The male half of God had made his people extremely misogynistic, so they wouldn’t have paid attention if she had done otherwise.

Eve gets blamed for the fall of man when it was clearly ManGod’s fault for creating the serpent which led her to it; Lot’s daughters get blamed for their father getting them pregnant; it’s always blamed on the women when someone in the Bible can’t have kids instead of on E.D., low sperm count, or other such male problems; all of these things show the male bias which was ingrained into the society into which Jesus presented herself, so she had no choice but to appear male.

To say that the glorified, or heavenly, form of Jesus is not female is to deny God’s power and his word.  God is all-powerful, and the Bible is all right.  If God had the power to take human form and come to Earth, then surely she had the power to present herself as a man, just as the male half appeared as a man, as a burning bush, talked through a donkey, etc.  But, even in male form, the maternal nature of the female half is clearly shown in the healing and other forms of compassion and kindness she shows throughout the New Testament, which contrasts with the male half’s penchant for genocide, rape, incest, torture, killing, war, anger, jealousy, revenge, mutilation, infanticide, disease, a fascination with wombs and foreskin and other forms of sexual depravity and sadism displayed in the stories about him in the Old Testament.

460px-Dore_woodcut_Divine_Comedy_01We also see the whole punishment and reward thing change when the female half shows up.  In the Old Testament the primary protagonist is the jealous, angry, and spiteful male half of God, whose only reward system revolves around black and white concepts.  If you are good, you are rewarded with power and wealth.  If you are bad, you die.  And no matter what, when your life is over, you are put in the ground (hell) and that’s that.

441px-Dosso_Dossi_022When the more maternal side steps in, we get compassion, hope, love, charity, and other girly, touchy-feely views about God.  We also get a reward system based on such things, and a promise of another life in a newly inclusive Heaven.  Though she did have to make a concession and allow for a new type of Hell in which ManGod gets to take out his sadistic side on people he doesn’t like.

We also see women portrayed a little better in the New Testament than in the Old Testament they are mostly shown as covetous, lustful, greedy, whores who can’t have children unless God touches their wombs.

You might still be resisting the truth of God’s word so I give you this: Revelation 1:9-16

9 I John, who also am your brother, and companion in tribulation, and in the kingdom and patience of Jesus Christ, was in the isle that is called Patmos, for the word of God, and for the testimony of Jesus Christ.

10 I was in the Spirit on the Lord’s day, and heard behind me a great voice, as of a trumpet,

11 Saying, I am Alpha and Omega, the first and the last: and, What thou seest, write in a book, and send it unto the seven churches which are in Asia; unto Ephesus, and unto Smyrna, and unto Pergamos, and unto Thyatira, and unto Sardis, and unto Philadelphia, and unto Laodicea.

12 And I turned to see the voice that spake with me. And being turned, I saw seven golden candlesticks;

13 And in the midst of the seven candlesticks one like unto the Son of man, clothed with a garment down to the foot, and girt about the paps with a golden girdle.

14 His head and his hairs were white like wool, as white as snow; and his eyes were as a flame of fire;

15 And his feet like unto fine brass, as if they burned in a furnace; and his voice as the sound of many waters.

16 And he had in his right hand seven stars: and out of his mouth went a sharp twoedged sword: and his countenance was as the sun shineth in his strength.

Artist's Rendition of Jesus in her Glorified Form

Artist’s Rendition of Jesus in her Glorified Form:  The girdle is obviously the wrong color though

This is, of course, John’s vision of the glorified form of Jesus.  When John uses pronouns, he is clearly using male ones, but remember John, to this point, only knew the Jesus form presented on Earth, so it would be natural for him to make this assumption. The important word in this whole description is “paps.”

The word paps is only used three other times in the correctly translated, inerrant, King James Version of the Bible:  Ezekiel 23:21, Luke 11:27, and Luke 23:29.  In each of these cases “paps” is referred to as mothers’ breasts which give milk. This is opposed to the word ‘breast’ which can refer to a woman’s breasts or a man’s chest, as in the word breastplate, which is an armored covering for the chest. Never, in the Bible is the plural form of breast used to refer to a single male.  (A girdle is merely a covering, and can refer to a cover for any part of the torso.)

If John were referring to a male chest in his description of the heavenly Jesus, then his hand as guided by God would have said “breast” as in his description of angelic coverings in chapter 15 [1].  But, since what he was seeing was clearly a set of female breasts wrapped in gold, he used the clearly maternal and feminine description of God’s rack as “paps.”

Now that I have shown that the Bible clearly states that the Jesus half of God is female, I will move on to the confusion this causes our Lord.

God’s confusion about sexual identity is apparent throughout the Bible.  He allows and even commands rape, yet requires you to marry someone you rape, while commanding you to kill a girl who has been raped if she isn’t able to stop the rapist; he allows for the burning of prostitutes, but then chooses one as a companion and the deliverer of the news of his/her resurrection; provides the death penalty for masturbation; and allows men to commit adultery, but punishes women who do, then later on decides to punish both.  But, nowhere is his identity crisis more apparent than his condemnation of homosexuals.

God Says Kill Her

God Says Kill Her

In Leviticus 18:22 a gay man[2] is an abomination comparable to eating shellfish, or seeing a woman on her period naked, and the punishment is banishment. But in the next chapter the punishment becomes death, just as for adulterers, kids who talk back to their parents, and those who sleep with their mother or son,  daughter-in-law or father-in-law,  mother-in-law or son-in-law, and those women unfortunate enough to be married to a man who sleeps with her mother whether she knows or not. [3]

This shows a clear confusion about punishment by giving us a choice about punishment for some things. This confusion is reflected in our own good Christian society which doesn’t try to prevent adulterers, or estranged offspring, from getting married while trying to prevent others from doing so. It is also shown by God him/herself and his/her representatives on Earth when they condemn homosexuals as bad, but forgive men like Ted Haggard, Mark Foley, Bob Allen, and Larry Craig for homosexual adultery.  This seems to imply that it is OK to be homosexual and commit adultery, just as long as you are married to a woman first.

Hitler killed homosexuals, are you saying that God would act like Hitler?  Surely not.  Despite his being a good Christian, Hitler’s saying he was doing the “Lords work” doesn’t mean he was, just as others claiming the same thing are often lying.

Clearly God is confused about his own sexual identity.  He does the same as many religious closet-homosexuals, like the men mentioned above, and cries for the heads of homosexuals the loudest to defer scrutiny away from themselves.  The phrase: “The lady doth protest too much, methinks” comes immediately to mind. But, it is an understandable confusion since the male and female halves of God are fused just as man and woman, whom he created, are symbolically fused by marriage in Genesis 2:24

This concludes this lesson.  Now that I have undeniably shown the ways in which God is a confused creator as well as the reasons for this confusion I will leave you to further reflection and prayer.

Yours in Christ,

Brother Ron, PhD, MD, DDS, BfF, LLC, STd [4]


1.  The plural form here does not imply that each angel had multiple breasts, it is referring to all seven ‘breasts’ or ‘chests’, one each.

2.  Gay women are never referred to by the Bible in any way, much less as an abomination. Every form of adult sexual activity from masturbation to sleeping with one’s mother, that God feels is wrong, is adequately covered, so it can be safely inferred that God sees nothing wrong with a little girl on girl action.  Bisexuals are OK, but only if they are women. Transgenders are OK, but only if they don’t wear clothing of the opposite sex or, in the case of males, trim their beards, but this latter caveat applies to all men anyway.

3.  It is however OK, according to God to sleep with one’s grandparent, grandchild, any cousin, niece, or nephew.  In the case of sleeping with one’s sister-in-law, or aunt the punishment is merely not having the ability to have children. Obviously in the case of sleeping with an aunt it is the nephew being punished because the aunt is doing nothing wrong. The punishment for sleeping with a sister is the same as sleeping with a woman on her period, banishment.  Sleeping with one’s daughter seems to also be OK. This would all be negated of course if the person were married because the punishment would then revert back to death.

4.  This, of course stands for “saved through divinity” and not what your foul, evil, minds thought it was.

God the Confused Creator: Part I

Hello brothers and sisters, Brother Ron here.  Atheist Ron has mistakenly given me permission to take over on a series of posts about the lessons of Genesis on his blog.  I say mistakenly because, as you shall see, these posts will clearly and without doubt present the Word of God as irrefutable and mistake free, something which atheistron does not believe.  I am able to prove these things largely due to my application of the strict fundamentalist policy of not accepting one shred of the mountains of logical, scholarly, observational, common sense, or scientific evidence which proves otherwise.

Artist's Rendition of the Author

Artist’s Rendition of the Author

I have the authority to do these posts and therefore tell you how to think because I, like many other fundamentalist carriers of truth have many credentials. I have a Ph.D. in Linguistics, two Ph.D.s in Physics applied and theoretical, a Ph.D in Geology, a PhD. in Chemistry, three Ph.D.s in Biology, a Masters in Divinity and History, a Bachelors in Women’s Studies and Literature, an Associate degree in Criminology, a certificate of Cosmetology, and I once read some of a book about archaeology, and watched 15 mins of an episode of Cosmos.  All of my degrees are from highly respected universities that you have no business knowing the names of, and the book about archaeology was sitting on a table in the library at one of them.  If you insist on seeing the universities you may click on the link here, just know, however, that Satan will often remove or distort the link trying to make me look like a fraud.

These lessons are based on a strict literal reading of Genesis.  I will not allow silly “context” arguments that don’t fit with what I say, because they, like all arguments which contradict me, and may appear to be valid, come from ignorance or possibly Satanic intervention.  If a particular context is important I will give it, all others are, as I said, from Satan.  It is my policy to only accept facts which are in accordance with what I already know to be true, because to do otherwise would be to fall into Satan’s trap.

342px-Moses041It will, however, be accepted that the sole author of Genesis was Moses as dictated (but not read) by God, in accordance with the Bible which tells us that Moses wrote it.  And I will of course give you the relevant Biblical passages when they support what I’m saying.  If I leave out a reference, trust that I am doing so because you would not have the capacity to understand it.  Just trust that in such cases I have read and understood it and am faithfully interpreting it for you.

So on to the first lesson:  God the Confused Creator (I warn you ahead of time–this is a bit of a read)

In the Beginning…

With one of the more famous opening lines in western literature (not Middle Eastern literature as some Satanists try to say) the Bible begins with:

In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.

And thus begins the seven days of creation which goes as follows:

Day One:  Starting with a shapeless empty dark planet covered by water God goes on to creates light, divides light from darkness, and calls the light “day” and the darkness “night.” (1:1-5)

Day Two:  God creates the sky which divides the waters above it from the waters below it. (1:6-8)

Day Three:  God creates dryland, and plants. And we are told that there was a morning and an evening. (1:9-13)

Day Four:  God creates the Sun, the Moon and all of the stars, and sets these things in the firmament.  These lights create days, seasons, signs, and years. (1:14-19)

Day Five:  God creates all of the animals in the water, and all of the birds that fly. (1:20-23)

Day Six:  God creates all of the land animals then they create man in their image both male and female.  God then gives man “dominion” over all the animals, and makes everything, man and animal, vegetarian. (1:24-31)

Day Seven:  God rests from his work, and sanctifies the Sabbath. (2:1-3)

Starting in Genesis 2:4, God, by way of Moses, retells the creation story using different language, writing style, and a different name for God.  This story goes as such:

The earth has no plants because there is not yet any rain, or anyone to till the soil. So, Lord God causes a mist to come over the earth and water the land.

Then Lord God creates a man out of the dust and breathes life into him. Lord God plants a garden in Eden and puts the man there.

Then Lord God causes all of the trees to grow from the ground including pretty trees, trees with fruit, the Tree of Life, and the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil.  He creates four rivers, gold and other minerals, and puts the man back into the garden to care for the trees, and tells him that he can eat from any tree in the garden except for the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil, and warns him that the day he eats from that tree he will die.

Lord God decides that it isn’t good for the man to be alone, so he creates all of the land animals and birds that fly. Then brings them to the man who is suddenly called Adam. Adam names the animals, but is still lonely.

So, Lord God puts Adam to sleep and removes a rib from him out of which he creates a woman whom he presents to Adam.  Adam names the woman “Woman.”

The author then mentions that Adam and Woman are naked but don’t care.

The Confused Creator

A cursory reading of the first two chapters of Genesis shows us that Moses switched back and forth from at least two different personalities with completely different writing styles, points of view, and names for God. Many, many scholars have said that, what appears to be a personality disorder is actually a result of Genesis’ having been written by at least three different people then edited together into one book.  This is refuted by John 5:45-47 in which Jesus clearly tells us that Moses wrote it and no one else.  So, we must just accept that Moses had mental issues, probably brought about by seeing God so much, and believe every word written by him as flawless despite his disability.

So with that in mind what do these two chapters tell us about creation.  Well the first thing we see is that God told Moses the order of creation twice in two different orders as shown in the table below:

Untitled drawing

Some people will say that this shows two different creation stories.  It is a sin to believe that and the Bible says so.  Other people who, believe that God created everything, but doubt the word of God say things like:  you can’t imply an order of creation from chapter two because Moses says “and” which could mean ‘at the same time’, and not necessarily ‘then.’  Such statements show that the speaker either hasn’t actually read the Bible, or doesn’t actually believe that it is to be taken literally.  There are many proofs within the Bible which show just how wrong such blasphemous statements are.  For the sake of time and space I will just point out two big ones here.

First:  Order is stringently stated in chapter two.  A person who actually reads the book they try to tear down would actually see this in the following verses:

Genesis 2:8  And the Lord God planted a garden eastward in Eden; and there he put the man whom he had formed.

This clearly shows order.  The garden is planted after the man is formed, hence the phrase “had formed”  which is the past perfect form of to form, and clearly indicates a progression through time i.e. order

Genesis 2:16  And the Lord God commanded the man, saying, Of every tree of the garden thou mayest freely eat:

This clearly show order because God is speaking to a man who was physically present before being placed back in the garden in the previous verse.

Genesis 2:18 And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.

This clearly shows order because the man could not have been “alone” if animals or a woman were created at the same time, and also uses the future tense of ‘to make’ which like “had formed” shows a progression through time i.e. order.

Genesis 2:20 And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him.

This clearly shows order because Adam has gone from being anonymous to having a name, has seen and named all of the land animals and flying birds, and is still without company. So at this point there are land animals, birds, and a man but no women.  To say otherwise is to doubt the inerrant nature of God’s written word, as found in Genesis 2.

If Genesis 2 isn’t enough to convince the naysayer then I present you with Genesis 5 wherein the word “and” is used at the beginning of every verse from 3-32 and clearly shows the order in which Adam’s descendants were born all the way to Noah.  If and means at the same time like the blasphemer says it does then the entire family line would have to have been born at the same time which is completely ridiculous and thoroughly debunked by the listing of 1,056 years.  This sort of blasphemous statement is just as bad as trying to say that the days of creation need not have been 24 hours long, when it clearly says in Genesis 1:5, 8, 13, & 14 that the days were as we know them now. Besides, I, like all good fundamentalists, don’t have to prove my point to be right, I merely have to try to poke holes in yours.

Putting aside the ignorant, blasphemous statements of the unbeliever, let us move on.

By combining the two different, but correct orders written by two of Moses’ personalities we get the true order of God’s creation as follows:

Day One:  God starts with a dark shapeless mass of water and creates light which is separated from the dark he starts with.

Day Two: God creates the solid sky dome(1), forms the water blob into a disc (2), and creates the rain which is above the sky.

Day Three: God creates dry land, the plants, and then a man whom he puts in charge of taking care of the plants. He also allows it to rain.

Day Four:  God creates the Sun, the Moon, and the Stars and sticks them in the sky dome over the land, but under the rain.

Day Five:  God creates water animals, some of the land animals, and birds

Day Six:  God creates more land animals, another man, and a woman.

Actual selfie taken by God on Day Six

Actual selfie taken by God on Day Six

A few things become evident when we look at the true order of creation, but the only one you need concern yourself with for now is that God was a bit confused about the creation of man. This is apparent in his creating a man on day three to take care of his plants and then creating another man on day six. Moses never tells us what happened to man.2, but it was obviously quickly poofed out of existence because we know that at the end of chapter 2 and through chapter 3 there is only one man. God may have done this because, as we see throughout the rest of Genesis, it is OK for one man to have more than one woman, but it is not OK for one woman to have more than one man, at a time.

An omniscient God would have obviously known that he was going to provide for the populating of the Earth by punishing women with painful childbirth and menses, so would therefore need to create a woman, but when he first starts creating people, he just creates a man, then only later realizes that animals won’t be suitable breeding partners for the man. This does not show a lack of omniscience…in fact, far from it.  To say God made a mistake is a sin.  Instead it shows God’s smarts by showing that he knew how to fix a problem when it presented itself.

Why God created two men could be explained by the divine dementia which he so often shows throughout Genesis, when, as we shall see in future posts, he tells Abraham or a member of his family something and then tells them something completely different, or when he tells them the same thing several times.  Once again, this confusion or Divine Senility cannot be explained away by saying something logical like there was more than one author, because we know that logic, reason, common-sense, science, observation, and facts are not allowed as evidence if they contradict the inerrant word of God.

The other issue of God’s apparent confusion centers on his sense of sexual identity.  But, since this post is getting rather long I will take that up in a second part of this post which I have rather intelligently designed and called “part 2.”  It has been my experience that reading something longer than a Bible tract is a tough sell for most fundamentalists, and I will be the first to advise against doing anything even resembling research on any of my claims, and definitely not on anything scientific, for this is the path to Satan.  (The phrase ignorance is bliss was created for a reason.)  However, I believe the next issue is an important one so I will allow some time for them to rest their brains before delving into it.

Footnotes to Part 1:

1.  I say “dome” here because it is apparent in the inerrant word of God that the Earth is not a sphere as many Satan-inspired scientists would have you believe.  In  Isaiah 40:21-22  it clearly says that the Earth is like a circle covered by a tent supported by foundations (pillars).  This shows that the sky is in fact a dome, and a dome cannot cover a sphere on all sides, anybody with basic knowledge of middle school math knows this. Also, if the sky weren’t a dome then how could God stick the lights in it and have them remain under the rain?  The line of reasoning that claims otherwise is just silly, and blasphemous.

2.  I say “disc” here because of many of the same reasons as above, but with different passages to back it up.  In Job 38 When God is bragging to Job about how he created the Earth he says: “It is turned as clay to the seal; and they stand as a garment.”  This clearly conforms to the idea presented in Genesis 1 of God’s having taken a blob (clay) and smashed it down into a flat shape or “seal.”

Then there is Matthew 4:8 where Satan takes Jesus up on a mountain and shows him “all” of the kingdoms of Earth.  Being able to see the other side of a sphere from any point above the opposite side is impossible, so this is proof that the Earth is flat.  To say otherwise is to doubt the inerrant nature of God and his son our Lord Jesus Christ, to doubt the two-dimensionality of the Earth is to deny Jesus, and condemn one’s self to Hell…I don’t want to go to Hell…do you?.  A similar instance is seen in Daniel 4:10-11 where there is a tree so tall that you can see all the Earth, once again, Impossible on a sphere.

Questions about Answers in Genesis: Part 1-Genesis 1-11 as Literal History

Part 1 of a Multi-Part Series on articles from

This post was prompted by the article from the Answers in Genesis website entitled: Did Bible Authors Believe in a Literal Genesis?

In Did Bible Authors Believe… the author (Terry Mortenson) tries to make the case that since the authors of the various parts of the Bible take the stories found in the first eleven chapters of Genesis as “…straightforward, reliable history…” then this is the only way someone should read it if they want to get the correct message from the Bible as a whole. Mortenson, who has a Ph.D.(?) in the History of Geology which is not about the history of geology from a school that teaches neither history nor geology, takes a rather wandering and illogical route through various ideas and Bible passages to prove his hypothesis, and brings us to his conclusion that:  “We should take Genesis 1–11 as straightforward, accurate, literal history because Jesus, the Apostles, and all the other biblical writers did so.”

Taken as a whole, this article could easily supply me with a half-dozen or so posts about circular logic, presumptive analysis, scriptural cherry-picking, and several other topics, but it was the following footnote which really grabbed my attention as something by which Mortenson completely contradicts, and invalidates his own conclusions:

17 Why Christians have trouble believing Genesis 3 when it speaks of a talking serpent is a mystery to me. We have talking parrots today, which involves no miracles. And if the Christian believes in any miracles of the Bible, then he must believe that Balaam’s donkey was used by God to speak to the false prophet (Numbers 22:28). Since Satan is a supernatural being who can do supernatural things (e.g., 2 Corinthians 11:11–13; Matthew 4:1–11; 2 Thessalonians 2:8–9), it is not difficult at all to understand or believe that he could speak through a serpent to deceive Eve (cf. 2 Corinthians 11:3; Revelation 12:9).1

Eat the Fruit, Aack, Eat the Fruit

Eat the Fruit, Aack, Drink the Kool-Aid Aack

I will bypass the comparison of a bird which mimics sounds around it through a process that can be fully explained by scientific means, with a donkey as a vessel of God’s speech, and instead focus on the idea that in this note, the snake referred to was a vessel for Satan’s speech.

On its face, and separate from the article it is attached to, this statement is reasonable enough in a conversation about Bible stories from a literalist stand, but his referenced passages, when taken in the context of his own article, either contradict his statement, and/or the article or have nothing to do with what he’s saying, while at the same time, do a wonderful job of refuting everything he himself is saying not only in the footnote, but in the article as a whole.

In the second paragraph of his article, Mortenson says: “If we interpret something [in the Bible] literally that the author intended to be understood figuratively, then we will misunderstand the text.”  It is important to remember this statement, as it continually comes up below. He then goes on to give two examples of differing literary styles in the Bible.  In one, he uses an example of an obvious metaphor: “‘I am the door…’ (John 10:9)”, and for the other “‘The Son of Man is about to be betrayed into the hands of men, and they will kill Him, and the third day He will be raised up’ (Matthew 17:22–23)”, he uses as an example of a passage which he says is to be taken literally.  So, let’s look as his cited passages in the footnote above in regards to their being proof of Satan’s supernatural ability to talk through a snake to Eve.

2 Corinthians 11:11-13:

11 Why? Because I do not love you? God knows! 12 But what I do, I will also continue to do, that I may cut off the opportunity from those who desire an opportunity to be regarded just as we are in the things of which they boast.13 For such are false apostles, deceitful workers, transforming themselves into apostles of Christ.

This passage, in which Paul is talking about how he is careful to continue preaching to keep false prophets from deceiving people, is supposed to be an example of how Satan can do supernatural things, presumably to speak through animals, as God had done in Numbers 22:28.  I can only assume that Mortenson meant to include the following verse which says:

“And no wonder! For Satan himself transforms himself into an angel of light.”

With this verse, or without, this is clearly not an example of Satan’s power to do anything supernatural. Mortenson has made the mistake he warned his readers about early in his article: he took words and phrases which are clearly simile as literal statement.  In these passages, no one is actually transforming themselves into anything, they are merely deceiving people by appearing to be something that they are not.  This is made quite clear in the next passage which compares a false prophet’s deceitful practice of pretending to be a man of God with Satan’s deceitful practice of pretending to be a good guy.

Satan_Baptizing_a_disciple_(582x800)If we are meant to assume that Satan is doing an actual transformation, then, according to these passages, the same must be said for the false prophets.  This idea makes no sense, because if Satan, or the false prophet, transformed himself into the good versions of themselves then why would he transform back, when he would now be of God, and therefore be doing the work of God, by telling the truth and doing good, which would negate his desire to transform back into Satan or a false prophet?  As many preachers will tell you, and have told me, you must be careful lest you be proven a fool by your own ignorance

Well, that passage fails, so what about Matthew 4:1-11?

Then Jesus was led up by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil. 2 And when He had fasted forty days and forty nights, afterward He was hungry. 3 Now when the tempter came to Him, he said, “If You are the Son of God, command that these stones become bread.”

4 But He answered and said, “It is written, ‘Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God.’”

5 Then the devil took Him up into the holy city, set Him on the pinnacle of the temple, 6 and said to Him, “If You are the Son of God, throw Yourself down. For it is written:

‘He shall give His angels charge over you,’and,‘In their hands they shall bear you up, Lest you dash your foot against a stone.’”

7 Jesus said to him, “It is written again, ‘You shall not tempt the Lord your God.’”

8 Again, the devil took Him up on an exceedingly high mountain, and showed Him all the kingdoms of the world and their glory. 9 And he said to Him, “All these things I will give You if You will fall down and worship me.”

10 Then Jesus said to him, “Away with you, Satan! For it is written, ‘You shall worship the Lord your God, and Him only you shall serve.’”

11 Then the devil left Him, and behold, angels came and ministered to Him.

439px-Temptation-of-Christ-in-the-WildernessThis, of course is the famous temptation scene.  And, sure enough, Satan’s transporting Jesus around could easily be said to be supernatural.  But remember, Mortenson states that we either read it as literal or not. So, if we are to take this as a literal example of Satan’s literal ability to do such things, then we are led to a rather perplexing issue.

If Satan is literally transporting Jesus around and literally takes him to the top of a mountain to show him “…all the kingdoms of the world and their glory”  then the Earth is flat.  There is no way that from a point on one side of a sphere, no matter how far above the surface of that sphere that point is, one could see the other side of the sphere, so it would be impossible to see “all the kingdoms”; at best, a person could see half, yet the passage clearly uses the word “all.”

So, by Mortenson’s own words, if we take this passage to be a literal word for word account of Satan’s supernatural abilities being used to try to tempt Christ, then we must also accept that the Earth is a disc and not a sphere.  However, another article  written by Mortenson’s colleague, Donald B. DeYoung, for Answers in Genesis, says that nowhere in the Bible does it say that the Earth is flat and “when the Bible touches on scientific subjects, it is entirely accurate.”  So, is Mortenson interpreting something literally that the author intended to be understood figuratively, and therefore misunderstanding the passages, or is his colleague wrong, and the Earth is flat?  Or are they both wrong, and the Bible cannot be read literally and the Bible is often scientifically inaccurate? (My money is on the answer to the last question being “yes.”)

2 Thessalonians 2:8–9 is just as poor an example of Mortenson’s assertion as the other two:

8 And then the lawless one will be revealed, whom the Lord will consume with the breath of His mouth and destroy with the brightness of His coming. 9 The coming of the lawless one is according to the working of Satan, with all power, signs, and lying wonders,

This passage is clearly referring to another false prophet and his teachings, and when read with the rest of the chapter is meant to reassure the reader that this false prophet is a sign that Christ is on his way.  It refers to the prophet’s being like Satan, but also refers to his being destroyed by God’s breath.  This is clearly a form of parable wherein the false prophet’s teaching will be refuted by the true teachings from God that Paul claims in this letter to be spreading, similar to what I am doing to Mortenson’s teachings here.

All of these references show that Mortenson clearly doesn’t know what he’s talking about, and could also be used to label him as one of his feared ‘false prophets.’ a conclusion which is easily proven by his own treasured source of proof:  the Bible.

Matthew 7:15-19

15 “Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravenous wolves. 16 You will know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes from thornbushes or figs from thistles? 17 Even so, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. 18 A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a bad tree bear good fruit.19 Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. 20 Therefore by their fruits you will know them.

This is, of course, the famous ‘know them by their fruits’ lesson from the Sermon on the Mount. Clearly, Jesus is not saying that false prophets are trees.  He is comparing them to trees and saying that they will be easy to recognize by what they teach i.e. if they teach something which is incorrect, then you can be assured that they are not to be believed because “A good tree cannot bear bad fruit.”  In other words, if someone tells you that the Earth is flat:  don’t believe anything else they are saying.  If someone tries to tell you the correct way to interpret the Bible, but then contradicts himself, by interpreting things the wrong way:  they are not to be believed in anything that they say.

And finally, let’s get back to the article and what this footnote is saying.  The article defends, and even demands a literal reading of Genesis 1-11 as required for any validated belief in Jesus. In this footnote, Mortenson is clearly defending the belief that Satan spoke through, or even was, the serpent in the Garden of Eden.  I won’t go into the un-validated belief that this serpent lied to Eve, or somehow deceived her into believing something that wasn’t true, and I won’t go into the un-validated belief that Adam and Eve were thrown out of the garden for eating a piece of fruit; what I will focus on is what/or who a literal reading of the story from Genesis 3 tells us the serpent was.

So here are the parts of the story which concerns us here:

Genesis 3:1-4

Now the serpent was more cunning than any beast of the field which the Lord God had made. And he said to the woman, “Has God indeed said, ‘You shall not eat of every tree of the garden’?”

2 And the woman said to the serpent, “We may eat the fruit of the trees of the garden;3 but of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden, God has said, ‘You shall not eat it, nor shall you touch it, lest you die.’”

4 Then the serpent said to the woman, “You will not surely die. 5 For God knows that in the day you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”

The serpent has no more speaking parts, and later when God is handing out punishments for the whole mess Genesis says:

14 So the Lord God said to the serpent:“Because you have done this, You are cursed more than all cattle, And more than every beast of the field; On your belly you shall go, And you shall eat dust All the days of your life.

15 And I will put enmity Between you and the woman, And between your seed and her Seed; He shall bruise your head, And you shall bruise His heel.” (Gen 3:14-15)

According to Mortenson, these parts of chapter 3, along with everything else from the first word of chapter 1 through chapter 11 are to be taken as “as straightforward, accurate, literal history.”  So, let’s do so.

The first sentence of chapter three, clearly identifies the antagonist as a cunning “beast”, who talks to Eve.  Absolutely nowhere does it say that another being is talking through it, or that it is anything other than a serpent. Now, some might say that it is implied, but I would counter with Numbers 22:28 which is used by Mortenson in which the verse’s author clearly states that that God uses a donkey to speak to someone, combined with the story of Job wherein we see that Satan has no power to turn people away from God without God’s permission (Job 1:11-12).  (Before someone says that this passage shows that God gave this power to Satan, and that it proves that Satan has the power to corrupt people; I would point out that a literal reading would show that Satan is only given the power to corrupt Job and that this episode happens well after the story of the serpent and Eve, which would show that Satan had no such power prior to this point.)

The implication of this, as viewed through Mortenson’s hypothesis is that a) if it were Satan talking through the snake it would have been clearly stated as such, and b) if it were Satan, he couldn’t have done such a thing without permission which would imply that God caused the fall of man.

But, OK, there might be a way to weasel and wriggle through that.  Which is where verses 14-15 come in.  In these verses, God is clearly talking to a serpent, and that serpent is being punished by God with the loss of his legs, and enmity between it and humans who will constantly be stomping on its head.  A truly literal reading of this shows the creation of the snakes we know today that crawl around on their belly and are disliked by most people.

But, it could be said that God was punishing, not a snake, but the Satan who was talking through him.  Again, as I showed above, that doesn’t swing with a literal reading of what is supposed to be straightforward, accurate, literal history.  In fact, implying that God was talking to or about something different than what is written is the exact opposite of a literal reading.  Even if it were the case that it was Satan being punished, then by a literal reading, Satan would no longer have legs, and would have to crawl around on his belly.  This is clearly not the case, because we see in Job 1:6 that Satan has the capacity to be “going to and fro on the earth, and…walking back and forth on it.”  This clearly states that Satan was literally walking, so could not have been the entity who was talking in the Garden of Eden, and therefore not the entity who helped bring about the fall of man.

A literal reading of Genesis chapter 3, by Mortenson’s criteria would show that a, now extinct, species of once-legged, talking snakes is responsible for the fall of man, and that Satan has been unfairly accused of this crime for several millennia, something which is refuted by some of the same passages that Mortenson tries to use to back up his statements.

I would love to see Answers in Genesis’ answer to why that happened.


1.  In contrast to most of my other posts, I am using the New King James version (NKJV) of the Bible instead of the King James (KJV).  I do this because the author of the article in question used this version, and I felt that it was only fair that I use his own preferred version for any passages that I use to refute him.

The Lessons of Genesis-Series Introduction

For those of you who may not know, I have been going through the Bible from start to finish on another blog, and have recently finished the book of Genesis.  It had been a while since I had read that book from start to finish, and I had honestly forgotten just how messed up the stories in Genesis truly are.

The stated purpose of that blog is to render the Bible for the education of those who haven’t bothered to read, or weren’t forced to read it several times as a child like I was.  I try not to clutter the posts on the various chapters with too much commentary, and only lightly touch on some of the more disturbing or odd recurring themes, but It is getting more and more difficult not to talk about the stories in Genesis as I go along, so I have decided to do a series of posts on this blog about the lessons one can glean Genesis.

The Why of this Series

The Bible, and the characters in it are heavily used, especially in this country (U.S.), as examples of the way we are supposed to live our lives.  Terms like Judeo/Christian values, family values, religious morality, etc. are constantly bantered around as reasons why the Bible should be our go to source for examples of how to govern, what to teach our children, and how to live our lives.  Meanwhile, our government has become impotent. Our children are falling behind almost every other industrialized country in education.  Ignorance of science is touted as a badge of honor, and a goal for children.  And, discrimination and intolerance is accepted practice and even written into law.

The stories in Genesis and the characters in these stories are prominent parts of Sunday school lessons all across this country, and indeed, the rest of the planet, and at the same time, there are also a lot of highly motivated, and well-funded people trying to force many of these same fairy tales into school curricula under the guise of a pseudo-science.

779px-Sunday_school_at_the_Baptist_church_which_is_not_on_company_property_and_was_built_by_the_miners._Lejunior,_Harlan..._-_NARA_-_541342Those of us who have had the misfortune of being indoctrinated into one of the thousands of different Christian sects as children, have been/are heavily bombarded with the Genesis stories, however, we generally get carefully selected and heavily edited pieces of the story, parts of passages, and even downright lies, and are expected to never dig too deep.  Most Christians have no idea that incest, murder, rape, the solicitation of prostitutes, lying, stealing, slavery, and a host of other such things are not just condoned, but rewarded, in the stories from this book.

This series of posts on the Lessons of Genesis will address all of these unknowns and many more.  



These posts are primarily aimed at atheists, Protestant Fundamentalists, and literalists. Literalists are those who ascribe to the idea that unless a passage in the Bible is clearly defined as an allegory, parable, poem or any other such fable-type of story, then it is fact/actual history. This approach is actually impossible and never practiced by literalists, but they claim it, and it’s their belief system, so I allow them their definition.

Generally, literalists and fundamentalist are the same people, but there are some who stand in a fuzzy, gray, in-between, area and I wanted to include all of them, so in future posts when I refer to literalist I do so in an all-inclusive way.

Christian Fundamentalism in the United States:  Oklahoma City, 1995

Christian Fundamentalism in the United States: Oklahoma City, 1995

This is not to say that more moderate Christians, such as Catholics, Episcopalians,  and such aren’t part of the audience and can’t learn something, but their stated beliefs are more realistic and scholarly in relation to the stories covered by these posts, as they tend to hold that these stories are more parable than historical fact.  The core idea of the Bible being the inspired word of God is still easily assailed in this case, but by a much more scholarly, reasonable, and logical way which will likely be the basis for a future post or two.

The primary idea behind these posts, and all my others, is that atheists may gain some new knowledge about what it is that they are up against when dealing with fundamentalist beliefs and have an easily referred to reference for debate on those beliefs.  I know that nothing I say here will change the mind of any hardcore fundamentalist, because, generally, their beliefs are so ingrained that they no longer have the capacity to logically view them, as they tend to rely on faith and not reason for their beliefs.  The debate between faith vs reason is a whole different subject which will likely be the basis for many future posts. Faith aside, for those people who have doubts or questions about their indoctrination, my hope is that these posts will help them see what they are being taught for the rubbish it is.

Fundamentalists in action- Waco, Texas 1993

Fundamentalists in action Waco, Texas 1993

References Used and Why

The reference for all given passages and chapters is the King James Version (KJV) of the Bible.  I use this version not because I believe it to be the most accurate:  it is in fact far from the most accurate version, and I will point that out at every relevant point.  Also, I don’t use the KJV because it’s the easiest to understand;  once again–far from it. I use it simply because it is the only version accepted as “correct” or “right” by most literalists.  If I, or anyone else, were to use any other version of the Bible then the observations presented would simply be written off by such people as coming from the “wrong” Bible, and therefore having no merit, regardless of whether their version said the same exact thing or not. (again…topic for a future post) It is also the one I am most familiar with as it was the one force-fed to me when I was young.

I will give chapter and verse for every single item I mention in this posts, and a link to the relevant passage at  I do this because I know that not everyone has a nice 50-year-old leather-bound King James of their own to refer to.  I have yet to find a single syllable in the online version that does not sync with my printed Bible, so it is just as good a reference without having to support the publication of these fairy tales.  Had this reference been around decades ago I probably wouldn’t have more than a dozen different versions of the same book.

How to (Ideally) Use the References

Ideally, I would want everyone reading this series to read the relevant passages so that they would have, at least, a passing knowledge of where my comments and views are coming from, and also know that I am not simply making things up.  I believe that this would better enable the reader to asses Genesis, and use what they learn in conversations and debates which they may have later on.

I am a firm believer in fighting fire with fire in the God debate.  In my view; if you are going to discuss creationism vs evolution you should know something about both sides, and have accurate knowledge of the scientific method, and principles discussed.  Likewise, if someone wants to continually throw Bible passages at you, then you should throw Bible passages right back, and this requires knowledge of the source material. After all, the Bible has created, or at least started the process for creation of more atheists than damned near anything else, and I believe one should use the best tool for the given task.

I tend to throw passages in a conversation, and allow the other side to contradict my passages with others.  I then point out the contradictory nature and thus fallibility of the Bible as a whole as shown by their arguments.  This is generally a drawn out process of back and forth which often ends with the other side getting frustrated, condemning me to Hell, and walking away. When done in a public forum, this discussion may not change the mind of the person with whom I’m talking, but the seeds of doubt have been sown, and others who have witnessed it may see my point even when the person I was talking to didn’t.  In a one-on-one situation the seeds may well have been sown without my ever knowing it.  Either way, it is seldom a completely fruitless endeavor.

I realize that this is a confrontational way of doing things, but I believe it’s justified when atheists are constantly belittled and discriminated against because of this collection of mythological tales.  I never insinuate myself and beliefs into their space by going to their homes, or barging into their churches and/or chat sites, but the moment that their beliefs intrude on my space or life I attack with great gusto.  This may be called confrontational, but I think it is better termed as self-defense.

God's Soldiers

God’s Soldiers

Genesis, and the rest of the Bible is constantly used in our society as a means to discriminate, start wars, seize power, and defraud people.  In fact, the Bible has been used to justify a whole range of things throughout history. Slavery and abolitionism; Hitler’s genocide and fighting Hitler; racism and civil rights; 9/11 and the “war on terrorism.”  All of these things have a firm foundation in the Bible, and believers don’t realize that these conflicting messages show just how illogical and unbelievable the Bible is.



I personally have used the Bible to “prove” that Billy Graham was the anti-Christ; that Jesus in his glorified form is actually female; that two or more Gods exist at least one of whom is a woman; that Jesus was a false prophet, and that people who say I’m going to Hell, women who talk in church, and all people who pray where I can see or hear it, are going to Hell.

The sooner this mythology loses its ability to destroy people’s lives, the sooner the World can become a better place for everyone.  Therefore, I confront/defend.

So, lets begin.

I will start the series with a lesson entitled, God the Confused Creator and we will proceed from there.

Until then, Beware the knock at the door, because it may not be Avon calling.

Reading vs Reading

A question which is bound to pop into the heads of most people on either side of Atheist vs Christian debates about the Bible goes something like:  

How do Christians and Atheists read the same exact Bible and yet sometimes see totally different things?

This question occurred to me many years ago, and led to the formulation of my theory of Reading vs Reading.  According to this theory, the differences arise because most Atheists tend to read what is written, while most Christians read what they have been told is written.  In other words, an Atheist is reading it as he or she would read anything else, while a Christian has already been taught what the book says, so they tend not to read it accurately.  It’s similar to a person trying to edit something they have written and completely missing things that they would see quite clearly in something another person has written.

By way of example, I give you a story about an episode of a particular long running debate which I had years ago with a man I worked with.

So, back in the late eighties I was working at a tool and die shop with a particularly nice young man whom we’ll call Mark.  Mark and I had a long running debate on my assertion that the Catholic Church was the more sensible of the Christian belief systems I had seen.  Mark was one of the many Christian Fundamentalists out there who believes that the Catholic Church is, or at least is the source of, the Anti-Christ:  my late wife’s late mother always said that the Anti-Christ was actually me, but that’s a whole different story.

One evening (we worked second shift) while Mark and I were discussing whether or not ‘speaking in tongues was silly’, he told me to read Acts 1-2 and I would see his point.  So, at lunch, while I sat in my car eating a sandwich I did as he suggested (I had taken to carrying a King James Bible around for just such occasions so I could point at something directly).  When I read the passages he suggested I saw the part about speaking in tongues, but I also noticed Acts 1:17-19:

17 For he was numbered with us, and had obtained part of this ministry.

18 Now this man purchased a field with the reward of iniquity; and falling headlong, he burst asunder in the midst, and all his bowels gushed out.

19 And it was known unto all the dwellers at Jerusalem; insomuch as that field is called in their proper tongue, Aceldama, that is to say, The field of blood.

This section of Acts is talking about choosing a replacement for Judas who is discussed above.  Now, you must remember that I was reading these chapters for information about speaking in tongues, so a discussion of Judas was far from my mind, however when I read these three verses they jumped out at me like a Great Dane in a bunch of cats.

Have you seen what I saw yet?  Well, according to these verses: after Jesus was taken away by the Romans for crucifixion, Judas took the money he made by betraying Jesus and bought a field with it.  Then when he was walking through this field he fell down and exploded.  Since everyone in town knew what had happened there, they began calling the field “Aceldama, that is to say, The field of blood.”  I was shocked, I had never noticed this before.

You see yet?  Well the story of Judas that everyone knows is the story from Matthew 27:3-8 which says that after the Romans took Jesus away Judas began to feel bad about what he had done, so he took the money he had been given back to the chief priests and elders and threw it down on the floor of the temple, then went and hanged himself.  The priests took the money and bought a field to bury the poor in which is why the field “was called, The field of blood, unto this day.”

Two completely different accounts of how Judas died, who bought the field, and why it was called what it was.

When I came back in from lunch, I told Mark (who had also read the same two chapters in preparation for my opinion) that I had seen what he meant, but that what Acts had to say about Judas had really stunned me.  He had no idea what I was talking about, so he re-read Acts 1, and still didn’t know what I had seen that was so shocking.  It was only after I went through the verses above with him word by word after work that he saw the contradiction.

Mark had read Acts 1 a minimum of three times before he saw what I did:  once before having me read it; once while I read it; and again after I told him I found something odd.  Not once, even after I mentioned that I saw something odd about Judas, during those three readings did he see that verses 17-19 were in direct contradiction to something he believed, it’s as if his mind just blocked them out or changed them to fit with what he believed they should say.  Yet, I saw them right away while looking for something completely different.  I was reading what the words said while he was reading what he believed.  This selective reading is a common sidekick to blind faith.

In the years since that night, I have seen this phenomenon a lot.  It occurs quite often on all sides and tends to be a huge stumbling block in a debate.  This is why I believe that all Atheists should at least have a working firsthand knowledge of the Bible.  There is no better way to debate the Bible than to use the Bible.  Using science, scholarship, logic, common sense, history, morality or any other thing that is not the printed words in the Bible will get you nowhere when you are talking to a fundamentalist Christian, and the Bible is the best tool to use when discussing your position with people who are losing their belief in the supernatural, but still have fear tying them to their mythology.

So I say, spread the word of the “Lord.”  Show people what the good book actually says, and you will show them just how idiotic the whole thing is when it’s used to support a dying religion.  If you don’t have a copy of the Bible and don’t want to buy one, I would suggest the YouVersion app. and/or  Both of these resources are free, searchable, and give access to many of the popular versions of the Bible used by different Christian sects.  If these resources had been around years ago I probably wouldn’t have over a dozen different versions of the Bible in my library.  By way of self-promotion I also suggest checking out this blogs sister: The Bible for Atheists.  It’s a work in progress, but contains, in my opinion, some useful information.

Until next time.  Beware of fanatics, and use your brain.